Perfection doesn't exist

What puts more pressure on you: time constraints or achieving perfection?

Time constraints put pressure on me, not achieving perfection.  I have come to the conclusion that perfection is non-existent.  Don't get me wrong, I do have perfectionist tendencies.  Instead of aiming for perfection though, I try to aim high and be the best version of me.  I think that the quest for perfection is useless and that all we can do is our personal best.  

Are any of you familiar with Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements?  I am a big fan of his work advocating personal freedom from beliefs that create unhappiness in our lives. They are listed below.

1. Be impeccable with your word.

2. Don’t take anything personally.

3. Don’t make assumptions.

4. Always do your best. 

If everyone abided by these agreements, I feel like the world would be a better place!  

With all of the images of "perfection" in the media that we encounter on a daily basis, I have to make a point to remind myself that perfection does not exist!  The perfect looking woman on the advertisement has been retouched and has tons of makeup on.  The perfect looking family has their own set of problems and issues to deal with.  The perfect home in the magazine is not always well kept and sparkling clean.  Perfection is an illusion.  

Channeling anger through exercise + Turning over a new leaf re: procrastination in 2014

Never fear fellow NaBloPoMo bloggers, I haven't disappeared!  Just took a brief hiatus yesterday and now I'm doubling up on the entry for today.  

Do you think it's possible to control your temper when facing enormous pressure?

It is possible to control your temper when facing enormous pressure although it certainly makes it much more difficult!  Even as an "easygoing" person I remember often times crumbling under stress when I was in high school.  My high school years were very challenging academically as I took several advanced level classes each semester for college credit.  There were times when I lashed out passive aggressively at my family when really all I needed was an outlet to release stress.  Now, I have learned to channel any frustration and anger into exercise.  Zumba and Dance cardio classes at my local YMCA are my personal favorites!

Does pressure ever make you want to rebel and do the exact opposite of what is being asked of you?

At work, no.  I know I can't afford to rebel or else risk losing my job!  In school and at home, I think procrastination is often a form of rebelling and avoiding pressure.  I put off math homework in high school especially as it was not a favorite subject of mine.  Then at the last minute I would try to cram everything in for a test which just led to increased stress.  I shaped up in college and began tackling my tougher subjects like math  in more incremental doses so it wasn't too much in the end.  I need to work on this at home too as I will often put off household chores I don't want to do.  Then, at the last minute when I am forced to do it I can get into a panic mode.  Not healthy, I know.  Perhaps 2014 can be a turning point for me in not procrastinating!

Hope everyone has a great weekend and stay warm!  You know it's bad when schools in the South shut down because of icy roads.  No school for the kiddos today in our neighborhood!

Controlling those lovely things we call emotions

Do you have a bad temper?  How often do you lose your temper?

I don't have a bad temper and I am generally pretty easy going.  I am a very passive-aggressive person though.  I tend to keep things bottled up in order to avoid conflict.  Then every once in a blue moon, I will unleash some of the feelings I bottled up.  Usually those bottled up feelings will come out in tears when I am alone in my bedroom.  This is not a particularly good system and perhaps I should lose my temper every now and then to release some pent up frustration!

I really pride myself on keeping my cool in the workplace though.  I once cried in front of one of my first bosses for an internship in D.C. and regretted it deeply as I had let her mean words get to me.  I swore to myself that I would never again let that happen.  I would much rather cry it out at home or have a drink after work and talk it out with a friend.  My boss doesn't control my emotions, I do!  

What about you, fellow bloggers, how do you release your anger?  Maybe I can steal some of your ideas...;)

Perfection is overrated

Do you feel pressure to be perfect?  How much of it is tied to what you see online?

We as women tend to be very self-critical, myself included.  I wonder how much of this self-criticism stems from being exposed our whole lives to the airbrushed images of models in the media.  I used to feel more self-conscious about my looks, especially when I was in college.  I would compare myself constantly to other girls and wonder why I couldn't look as good as them or receive as much attention from guys as they did.  I am slowly learning to embrace my imperfections though.  I am not one hundred percent there and I don't know that I will ever be. Like most other 20 somethings, I am an avid social media user and maintain accounts on Facebook, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.  I often find myself comparing my life to a peer through looking at their postings on social media.  This is especially true with Facebook.  I have to tell myself that I do not and never will know a person's whole story judging from what they choose to share on social media.  So even if I wanted to compare, I couldn't!  Still, I catch myself wondering why my hair can't look like someone else's, why I can't find a guy like that and why my life doesn't look nearly as exciting.  I know it is human nature to compare but I need to remember that no one is perfect, especially me.  So, why waste my precious energy? Plus, it's our imperfections and quirks that make each one of us unique.  Living in a world full of Barbie dolls would be boring.   

Do any of you recall the 2008 Dove film/commercial, "Onslaught" which presented the impact that the media/beauty industry can have on young girls?  Well, I found it to be very insightful and relevant to our prompt's "pressure to be perfect" theme.  I believe it was a part of Dove's ongoing Campaign for Real Beauty.  Check it out below and let me know what you think!

Conformity

Do you still feel pressure of conform?  If no, what age did it stop?

As human beings I think we all feel pressure to conform to a certain extent.  And we should.  In our daily lives we all adhere to certain norms in order to gain acceptance from society.  I get dressed every morning and brush my teeth to conform to what is expected of me as a person.  And if I didn't, I would hurt a lot of people's feelings!  We abide by traffic rules and regulations to ensure the safety of our fellow human beings on the road.  If I drove on the left side of the road tomorrow morning I would be a huge safety hazard to all.  And I would be given the bird by fellow drivers and rightly so!  Conformity is not a bad thing; it all depends on context.  

To turn the table a little on conformity, I no longer feel pressure to conform to others expectations of how I should act.  I am by nature a quiet introvert.  I digest information differently than extroverts do.  I used to question why I couldn't be more talkative or outgoing like my younger sisters.  I think I have embraced my introversion over the past few years.  I am much more comfortable in my skin as an introvert.  In fact, about 30 minutes into my last job interview, my interviewer asked if I was an introvert to which I proudly said yes.  And I got the job!   For all of my fellow introverts out there, I suggest you pick up the acclaimed New York Times bestselling book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Won't Stop Talking  by Susan Cain.  I thoroughly enjoyed the book and felt empowered after reading the stories of other quiet people navigating the often high charged world of work.  Below is a link to the author's website--check it out!

The Power of Introverts- Susan Cain

Fellow bloggers, what do you think about the pressure to conform?  

Handling pressure

Do you think you handle pressure well, or do you usually fall apart?

I like to think I am better at handling pressure now than I was in the past.  I mentioned in an earlier post that I am a natural born procrastinator.  I can thrive on pressure when it comes to working against a deadline.  The key word there is 'can.'  It really depends on the assignment/project I am working on.  For example, I thrive under pressure for writing assignments but for an oral presentation I would need significantly more time to prepare.  I am not a natural public speaker by any means.  If I waited until the night before to write a speech I would likely melt on stage.  Likewise, in my cold calling job I had to prepare ahead of time to reach my goal. Preparation and hard work were key to fighting against the intense pressure I felt from my boss to meet my number each month.  If I had waited until the last week to meet my target, I would have most certainly fallen apart not to mention receive a good ole' pink slip!

For assignments I really enjoy though such as these blog entries, I can wait until right before midnight to post for the day and be fine cranking out an entry for you fine folks!  Then again, maybe my entries would be better if I started earlier.  I'm going to try posting earlier this next week so (knock on wood) my entries might be even better!  Also, I just started a fiction writing course and I have an assignment due for my class next Thursday.  My first inclination is to wait until Wednesday night but I am going to fight that urge this time and see if I can come up with an even better story.  Wish me luck! 

And Happy Friday everyone!

Pressure from within

Who puts the most pressure on you -- yourself or others?

This one is easy for me!  I am my biggest critic by far.  I am sure others of you can identify with this.  I am the oldest among my three sisters and by nature, the oldest child can tend to be an achiever.  I actually just read a great article in the Huffington Post about how birth order affects personality. (Huff post article by Dr. Gail Gross)  As the eldest child I fit the mold for the most part.  I am a perfectionist, an approval seeker and a mini-parent.  My parents never had to put much pressure on me to study and do well in school.  I put the pressure on myself.  It also helped that I went to a highly competitive high school and was surrounded by the type of people who did homework at lunch instead of just socialize.  

Even now, I put pressure on myself to succeed as an adult.  I want to earn a living and simultaneously live a life of meaning.  After being out of work for three months, I can proudly say I just got a job offer this week.  So I feel like I am on the right road now, but I want more out of life this year.  I want to cultivate interests outside of work like my blog and writing in general.  I want to continue to make time to exercise through Zumba and maybe even include a cycling class in my regimen.  I also want to nurture my friendships outside of work and find a church home.  And I hope I can even find a special someone this year.  ;)  These are all goals I want to achieve for myself.  Perhaps I could call my self-motivation internal pressure?  Regardless, I am motivated to live a life that I can be proud of for me, not others.