Searching

Ever since I graduated back in the Spring of 2009, I have felt "in limbo."  I have never felt more in limbo than I do now.  Hence, my more frequent blogging---2 days in a row now!  I spent this weekend by myself.  I slept in, lounged around in the mornings and walked around by myself for fun.  So, basically, I did nothing of importance.  Nothing.

Saturday afternoon I walked all the way to U street from my place which is nearly a three mile walk.  I walked the entire way by myself which is interesting when you live in my neighborhood because you receive all kinds of interesting comments from men on the street.  Not that I was even wearing anything special, just a jacket, jeans and tennis shoes.  Luckily, I had my headphones in so I could tune them out.  I didn't really have a set goal for where I was walking to---just wanted to walk and clear my mind.  I stopped and bought a cupcake from a flea market vendor who was wrapping up for the day.  Then I continued to U Street and grabbed some hot chili from a sandwich shop.  I sat by the window to get some prime time people watching in.  That night, I watched my Best Friend's Wedding and ate chocolate.  Yes, I know.  Then today, I felt like getting out of the house and doing some shopping.  I've been needing a new ipod cord so I figured I would use the excuse to trek to the mall via the metro.  What I did not realize was that it was Sunday and of course, silly me forgot the mall closes early.  Smart move.  So I spent almost 1.5 hours trying to get out there only to turn around and have to come back home.  Of course, while I was there I figured I would grab a burger from Johnny Rockets' since it was the only place in the whole mall that was still open.

Now, I know the details of my 'nothingness' weekend are extremely boring to any outsider with a brain.  The point is though that I needed to be outside of the house and I needed to be out by myself.

You know how they say when it rains, it pours?  Well, it has been pouring on me lately.  Yes, I know it sounds melodramatic.  But, it's kind of true.  In the course of the past month,  I found out I would no longer have a job after working hard to prove myself for three months, accepted yet another rejection from another job I really wanted (and interviewed in person for twice), dealt with an urgent house safety issue and heard some sad news from a good friend.  Yes, it's been a little rough.  Especially rough considering the fact that I am staying in town for Thanksgiving and missing my family like crazy.

In all my meditation time, I've decided I'm going to give myself until Jan. 1 to find something in DC.  If nothing pans out, it is time to call it a day and head back to Texas.  Life is a journey.

Gotta Get Thru This- Daniel Bedingfield

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming

Why hello there, blog!   Long time no see.  It's funny how when I first started this blog my goal was to write every Sunday and now I can't even manage to write once a month!   Writing has always been a form of therapy for me and while I have always journaled offline, I am going to try this out.  This way the world can judge me!   I have some thoughts I need to sort out.

I took a position back in August as a marketing assistant for a major publisher in the city, thinking it would turn into a permanent position.  While it was technically only temporary, my supervisors all hinted that it would eventually become permanent.  Needless to say, I was very bummed out when I found out a few weeks ago that my assignment would be ending.  Apparently there was no enough room in the budget to hire me.  Now, this by itself may not seem like that big of a deal: girl takes temporary position thinking it would be more but turns out it isn't.  But, consider the fact that I have been trying to land a permanent position since last August now.  That is more than a year's worth of trying.  Granted, I haven't had a clear goal in mind and wanted to try out things, but still, all I was looking for was a permanent, non-internship position that would give me some good experience.

While I'm not positive what I want to do, I DO know what I DON'T want to do now.

Here's a list of Rahel's don'ts:

1. I don't want to work for a non-profit unless it's a well-established group that is operated like a business.  Through my experience working for a non-profit, I found it very difficult having to work with outdated technology and limited resources.  I totally respect people who can put up with it though as they are working to help people.  I, however, am not that good of a person.

2. I don't especially want to work for a political organization.  I worked for a PAC when I first moved up here and while I was happy to be supporting the awesome mission, I felt like office politics were more intense with the added political/'do-gooder' dimension.  They laid off a large percentage of the staff without any warning.  My supervisor was there one day and gone the next.

3.  I don't need to put up with being treated badly.  In one of my internships, I dealt with this a lot.  Looking back on it now, I know I didn't deserve that.

What I have decided:

1. I am going to focus on finding an entry-level job in business--specifically marketing, sales, or business development.  If I can't find it up here, I will just have to move back home.

2. If I am EVER in a position of power or authority over someone, I will go out of my way to make sure I treat them with respect.  I know what it feels like to be disrespected now and I never want to feel that again.

3. Life goes on.  If a job doesn't work out, fine.  If an interview doesn't pull through, big deal.  On to the next one.  Not everyone is going to think you're amazing.  All you need is a couple people to think so and you're in.  There's no way I would have survived if I let all of the rejection I received get to my head.  In the words of Dory the fish from Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming....just keep swimming...!"